my path is narrow
but it's winding
my direction is clear
but my destination is elusive
I have a home
but I feel that I don't fit
and when I look for another place
I get lost and wander back
I used to believe we all become what we hate
but now I feel we accept what we denied
we embrace what we avoided
we integrate what we rejected
to let go is to absorb
and become anew
I used to have great sadness for my mother
but I denied my anger at her neglect
I avoided seeing her for who she was
I rejected that I was harmed
this is how we change
by seeing and sharing the truth
I will fulfill the destiny the watchers are expecting
one that has made me both excited and afraid
their smiling faces foretell a future I cannot see
standing on an uneven cliff
a surface I remember would quake and throw me off
time and time again in my childhood dreams
only to land back on the same cliff again
now it is solid and strong
reminiscent of devil's tower
recently I was shown the tree that lives there
gnarled and bent with thick knots and thick branches
woven together with evergreen soft needles like a huge bonsai
a bramble of complicated but beautiful pain
a labyrinth of interwoven paths
strong enough to penetrate the solid rock below
and connect roots deeply to the heart of the earth
forming a pulsing network of immense energy
terminating at the red hot crucible of the core
now I stand afront a growing scene of many me
angels hover not far off in the starry sky above
my two sweetest protectors out in front
and a host of others and the departed
some that I do not even know
I stand in my ideal physical form
naked to the world lean and muscled
solid and strong like the cliff on which I stand
hunched over and screaming out with all my pain
and then I notice the enormous boulder on my back
that the angels gather to lift away and I stand erect
suddenly I am expanding and growing into a giant
I grab the cruel goddess suspended in the air before me
and hurl her through space toward the sun
and then I grow ever larger
with my flat hands extended toward the heavens
until I came up against an unseen barrier
and with a mighty push I raise up the sky itself